A few days ago, a disturbing video emerged from one of Singapore’s oldest and popular higher education institutions. The harrowing video of harassment that got circulated depicted a group of students from the institution urinating on the backs of two naked students. The video has been panned by all sections of Singaporean society and the concerned institution has announced stringent measures against the perpetrators of this act of bullying.
But what is the fine print in this issue? What does this tell us as a society? What are the important lessons that young students and their parents need to learn from such events?
This wasn’t the first time!
Post the circulation of the video and the widespread public attention that it garnered, many students, as well as alumni of the institution, opened up. Tales of abuse, harassment and toxicity that were long suppressed for fear of embarrassment or personal security were aired and we now know that such highly toxic bullying and related instances have been a common feature of life in this Polytechnic.
Have we been blind to all this? Surely, such incidents are not the exclusive forte of any single institution. Bullying, in its plethora of ugliest forms, is still a major issue in educational institutions across Singapore. The sickening nature that it acquires in higher educational institutions is of particular concern. But what is the root of all this toxicity?
Bullies aren’t born, they are made
The tendency for bullying or toxicity is not something that someone is born with. It is a combination of the experiences one goes through, together with the reactions garnered, that leads to such behaviour.
This is where the role of the family, society and educators at the primary and secondary levels come in. We need to get the right values across to our kids.
The Parents + Teachers Combo
It is no secret that our kids are highly impressionable. What they see at home and school leaves lasting impacts on their minds. The first thing that needs to be addressed therefore is to ensure that our kids have safe and appropriate environments at home and school. These environments must also nurture the values of empathy, compassion and appropriate behaviour in their minds.
Parents, show respect to your partners, friends and acquaintances in your interactions with them. Let our children see how they are supposed to interact with other people in a mature and healthy manner. Teachers, make sure that issues of bullying in the classroom are nipped in the bud.
We need to create sensitivity in kids. Bullying is not but a pathetic attempt at making one (the bully) feel good about him or herself. But, we seem to be failing to get that message across in the right manner. We need to entrench this notion in our young minds. Are you at a loss in finding effective means for this? Maybe we need to try something that would be more attractive to kids. Try screening movies with themes related to bullying and the undesirable or deplorable nature of that despicable act.
Speak to kids who display tendencies of bullying, ask them to think from the perspective of the kids who end up getting bullied. Ask them to imagine themselves in similar situations.
Support systems that can be approached
A major factor in the prevalence of bullying and toxic behaviour is that a lot of it goes unreported. There are many reasons for this, but the basic fact is ‘fear’. The victims are bogged down with a number of fears that prevent them from coming out and narrating their ordeals. What can be done here?
Here again, early interventions are the best solutions. Parents, let your kids know that they can come to you with any problem that they face. Take time out of your schedules periodically and show interest in the lives of your kids. Speak to them, get to know what is happening in their lives and spot the red flags.
Speaking about bodily privacy
Our kids need to be told in an adequate manner about the fact that they are the owners of their bodies and physical space and that no one has the right to invade the same. We need to make them more sensitive to such issues and teach them that they have the right to respond and that they should respond to such unruly behaviour in the appropriate manner. Right from a young age, parents must teach their kids about essential concepts such as the distinction between good touch and bad touch.
Get professional help when needed
In many cases, when the trauma cannot be managed within the home or the school, the psychological or emotional effects can therefore linger for long. If professional help in the form of therapy or through other methods is needed, do not think twice before going for these options. It is in the best interests of all concerned.
Instances of bullying or toxicity are not fun! They are just some of the vilest forms of human behaviour. Let’s create a more sensitive society, speak up without fear and take stringent action against such transgressions!
Ways to stop bullying! –
Exam Smart Tips
Exam Smart Tip #1 – How to Encourage Our Kids to Speak Better?
Exam Smart Tip #2 – How to avoid carelessness?
Exam Smart Tip #3 – Establishing Routines!
Exam Smart Tip #4 – Let’s Read Carefully!
Exam Smart Tip #5 – Beating the Exam Fever!
Exam Smart Tip #6 – How to Eat Right for the Exams?
Exam Smart Tip #7 – How to Avoid a Meltdown?
Exam Smart Tip #8 – Taking Stress out of Tests
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