Parents always want to make sure that their child is safe. And this is why it is important to teach them the difference between good touch and a bad touch. Every child must know this. Even though it can be a bit awkward to talk about this topic with your child but it is important to do so. Children who know the difference are more confident and they are capable of self defence.
Keep it simple, age appropriate and ongoing. It must not be just a one time lecture but tell them in a way that they will be interested in asking questions.
So, here are 7 ways to tell you how to teach good touch and bad touch to your child:
1. Start Early and keep it simple
Children as young as three can start to understand basic body safety rules. Use very easy and clear language when you explain them. For example you can say- “The parts of your body covered by a swimsuit are private”. Or you can also tell them “No one should touch you there, except to keep you clean and healthy.” Don’t be complex and tell them as scary warnings. Make sure that you don’t scare them, make them understand about their body and rights.
2. Use Everyday situations to teach
You don’t need to sit your child down for a “serious talk”. Instead, just bring up a topic during everyday routines. You can say “Only you, mum and dad can help you with private parts when you are small”. Try to make it a part of your conversations. It can help normalise the subject and ensure that it won’t feel uncomfortable.
3. Teach the difference between Good Touch and Bad touch
This is the main part of the lesson- how to teach good touch and bad touch in a way that your child understands.
- Good touch can feel safe, loving and respectful. Example- a hug from a parent, a high five from a friend, a pat on the back from teachers
- A bad touch can feel uncomfortable, wrong and confusing. Example- unwanted hugging or kissing, anyone touching inappropriately.
Tell your child that if a touch makes them feel weird and scared, they should say NO. And they should also tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
4. Teach them to say “NO” loud and clearly
Children are always taught to be polite which is why they struggle to say “NO”. Remind them that when they are defending their body, it is okay to be strict. Act like a stranger and teach them. They will feel more confident to defend themselves in real life.
5. Explain the concept of safe Secrets vs Unsafe secrets
Some secrets are fun and safe. For example- hiding a birthday present or surprising someone. But others are not. An unsafe secret is one that is asked to be kept about touching them. Assure your child that sharing a dangerous secret with you won’t result in punishment.
6. Build a circle of trust
Your child should know who are the people they can trust. Make a short list of people they can trust like mom, dad, grandparents. Tell them that they can come to you first but also to anyone who is mentioned in the list. So that they will know that there is always someone that they can go to whenever. They will also feel confident to know this.
7. Keep the conversation Ongoing
Talking about good touch and bad touch should not be a one time talk. Update the conversation to match your child’s increasing maturity. Regularly highlight the point. Your child will be able to open up when they know that these talks are safe and normal.
Conclusion
It can be pretty challenging to teach your child about this topic. But once you will, it is one of the greatest lessons you can give them. Make sure that you don’t scare them. Keep it easy and simple like a normal conversation so that they can feel knowledgeable and confident. When you explain good touch and bad touch in simple and age appropriate ways, your child will know the boundaries and speak up. They will also reach out to you. Growing up, a child who understands this topic will know that their body is only theirs. And they will always feel safe, respected and protected.
