The OECD’s PISA 2018 that assessed 15-year olds from 79 countries and economies tells us that 70% of Singaporean students reported being fearful of failure. The OECD average was only 50%.
In the 19th century there lived a tall man, towering to the height of 6 feet and 4 inches. He took to the field of politics. The first time he sought election to the state legislature, he ended up with a humbling defeat. The first time he sought election to the House of Representatives (the lower house of the US Congress) he lost. The first time he sought election to the Senate he lost. But finally in the year 1860 he became President of the USA and to this day is cherished by many as one of the greatest men to have ever walked the face of the earth. This is the story of Abraham Lincoln, a man who went through multiple failures, yet hung on and achieved unimaginable success. How many of our kids would be able to behave like this even when the problems or failures that they are faced with are minuscule in comparison?
A past of success but fear for the future
Logically we Singaporeans should be less fearful and more confident. This is the country that achieved high-income development within the span of a single generation. Yet we remain fearful about our capabilities and are still skeptical about future success. Why are our kids so scared about the future? The main reason is the pressure that our kids are put under related to academics. Every parent wants their child to top the class. We as a society are obsessed with grades and this is taking a negative toll on our kids. The stakes seem too big to them and this plunges their mind into the fear of failure and resultant social stigma.
Overcoming this fear – What parents must do?
Sadly, a great deal of the fear of failure among our children originates because of us parents. It is only logical then that we take proactive measures to counter this.
What can we do here? The first and most important thing is to build good and effective relationships with your children. Make time for your children no matter how tight your working hours are. Have deep conversations with them and make sure that they are able to share all their thoughts and problems with you. Be a reliable emotional and mental support to your kids.
Tell your kids that it is ok to fail but that it is not ok to refrain from trying something owing to the fear of failure. Get them some good books to inspire them and help them gain courage.
At a more basic level, as parents, we must learn to not overburden our children with our expectations. Realize that your children are their own individuals and give them the chance to explore the world with their own creative freedom.
Innovative learning methods – the online example
The most common fear of failure is that in the field of academics. This can be about failing a subject or even ranking low among peers.
But, fear not! Such fear can be curtailed with learning techniques that grant you a mastery and resultant confidence over the subjects. Online learning is particularly significant in this respect. It gives your child the flexibility of learning at the time in which they are in the best mood to do so. There is unlimited scope for revision. But one of the biggest positives about this form of learning that tends to get overlooked is the fact that it takes out the inhibitions and pressure that many kids feel in the conventional classroom atmosphere among peers that outperform them. Online learning is seen to be more productive and conducive to confidence building in this respect.
The fear of failure can haunt an individual throughout life. It curtails creative capabilities and forces one to opt for safe options. While a certain amount of failure can be good, more often this can get out of hand and hinder your child’s prospects. As parents let us be proactive in helping our children combat the fear of failure! 😊
Exam Smart Tips
Exam Smart Tip #1 – How to Encourage Our Kids to Speak Better?
Exam Smart Tip #2 – How to avoid carelessness?
Exam Smart Tip #3 – Establishing Routines!
Exam Smart Tip #4 – Let’s Read Carefully!
Exam Smart Tip #5 – Beating the Exam Fever!
Exam Smart Tip #6 – How to Eat Right for the Exams?
Exam Smart Tip #7 – How to Avoid a Meltdown?
Exam Smart Tip #8 – Taking Stress out of Tests
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