“Time flies, they grow up so quickly.” How many times have parents been caught saying such statements? That’s very true – the growing up years of any child fly by, and before we realise it, children become teenagers in the blink of an eye. As parents, you start wondering what is going on in their life., and as they become teenagers, the once clingy kids now turn into strangers who live under the same roof. For most families, this is true.
But, many parents long for a connection with their kids and often wonder how they can tackle this tricky but mostly inevitable situation. Have you ever wondered how you can get your children to be open and continuously share snippets of their lives with you?
That’s exactly what we are going to talk about in today’s article.
Suffering in silence
Children, especially teens, might be under stress that parents don’t know. Parents constantly keep a watch on the physical health of their children. But, what about their mental health? Due to the stigma associated with mental illnesses, parents often turn a blind eye to these issues. The constant pressure to perform academically, building a good image, focusing on their future- all these might be too much to handle for some children. Also, children are more at risk due to the changes in the brain during puberty.
It is estimated that 18% of Singapore’s youth suffer from depression, but the majority of them don’t seek help. Singapore reported 452 suicides last year, more than the previous years. In the age group of children and young adults (10-29), there has been an increase of suicides by 7% and is the leading cause of death in this age category (Source: Samaritans of Singapore). Especially in testing times like the pandemic situation we all are stuck in, when everyone is under constant stress, your children might be suffering in silence. It is up to you to reach out to them and offer a helping hand.
Here are some signs that you can be on the lookout for:
- Constantly feeling tired or irritable
- Social withdrawal
- Sudden changes in appetite
- Difficulty holding attention or concentration
- Decreased academic performance
- Jokes about death or suicide
- Injuries or scars with no valid cause
- How can you reach out to them?
Don’t force them to talk
Your children might even become defensive and lash out at you if you try to pry. So, you have to be patient and let them know that you will wait as long as they need. Let them know that it is ok to feel down or have anxious thoughts and that you will not judge them or make them feel bad about it.
You can try to engage in other activities with them first. Spend some quality time engaging in activities you both like. Make them feel more comfortable around you. It can help them feel like it is ok to open up to you.
If they are still unwilling to talk to you, ask your children if there is an adult they might be willing to open up to. If so, get them to talk to your children and assure them that you will not try to get their secrets from their confidant. Do not try to pry if they don’t want you to know. It will be like breaking their trust, and it is not something you want to do to your children.
Listen with compassion and without judgment
If your children are willing to talk to you or reach out to you, listen to them without judging them. Try not to interrupt them and be patient. Adjust your tone and body language according to their emotions. Offer them support when needed. Let them know that nothing is more important to you than their happiness and well-being. For children, nothing is more reassuring than parents who understand them and stand behind them at all times.
Seek professional help when needed
Look out for any signs of self-harm or any behavioural changes. The stigma associated with mental health prevents most families from getting their children professional help even when they urgently need it.
Even now, people are unwilling to accept that mental illness is not something to be ashamed of. Do you get ashamed and hide it from others if you catch a cold? Everyone comes together to support someone who has cancer. Why then does everyone feel the need to ostracize someone who has a mental illness? We should normalize mental illnesses. Like any other physical illness, people suffering from mental illnesses also need support and proper treatment.
So, if you feel like the mental issues might be affecting the quality of your children’s lives, seek professional help. Identifying the illness is vital to treat it. Like physical illnesses, different issues affect the mind. Your children might even be stressed over what is going on with them. So, knowing what is wrong can even relieve some of the stress they are feeling.
It will not be an easy task to get your children to open up to you. But as parents, you can’t give up or just ignore their issues. Try to understand them and relate to them. Offer them your unwavering support and love. Your children will realize your feelings and will surely open up to you.
“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.”― Frank Zappa
Hope the above-mentioned tips help your children in being more open to you, and most importantly, happier than ever before.
Let us ensure our children welcome the upcoming term with a more positive outlook. All the best! 🙂
Exam Smart Tips
Exam Smart Tip #1 – How to Encourage Our Kids to Speak Better?
Exam Smart Tip #2 – How to avoid carelessness?
Exam Smart Tip #3 – Establishing Routines!
Exam Smart Tip #4 – Let’s Read Carefully!
Exam Smart Tip #5 – Beating the Exam Fever!
Exam Smart Tip #6 – How to Eat Right for the Exams?
Exam Smart Tip #7 – How to Avoid a Meltdown?
Exam Smart Tip #8 – Taking Stress out of Tests
Who We Are
Mission statement – “Empower every student to achieve full potential”
88tuition Pte Ltd offers the best PSLE Tuition Singapore for children looking to ace the PSLE exam. With effective learning materials and high-quality explanatory videos by experienced trainers, children are provided with the best online PSLE tuition.
With the basics learnt well, children will be able to grasp advanced concepts easily. Looking for the best PSLE math tuition, PSLE Science tuition and PSLE English tuition in Singapore? 88tuition has got you covered. The online training videos and assessments are designed in a way that children are made to enjoy the learning process.
UEN 201817310C
271 Bukit Timah Road; #03-08; Singapore 259708
