“You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.” Sounds familiar? Well, it would definitely hit home if we told you that the roots of bullying start in the very place we call – home. Sounds alarming, right?
Well, kids bully because adults bully. In SIngapore, it was found that more than 1 in 4 of 15 year-old students reported getting bullied. This permissive culture is propagated by avoiding this conversation with the younger generation. Don’t be that parent. Schools try to resolve this negative behaviour among children to the best of their abilities. But what if your child happens to bully someone despite the teacher’s efforts to avoid such behaviour? Parents need to educate their children about the consequences of bullying others.
What causes children to bully?
Insecurity
Your children might be feeling insecure due to “n” number of reasons and their bullying of other children might be the manner in which they are dealing with it. With the influence of social media increasing among children day by day, they may be envious of the seemingly perfect or rich lifestyle of others they see on their social media accounts which can contribute to them having low self-esteem.
Peer pressure
Yet another way children get into bullying others is due to peer pressure. Many children unwillingly become part of bullying others just so they can get accepted as a friend and appear cool in front of others. Such toxic friendships can turn even the best children into the worst bullies.
Issues at home or school
When children feel helpless and frustrated over issues at home or school that they don’t seem to be able to handle on their own, bullying can often become an outlet to vent their frustrations. Even though the bullies might seem powerful to the bullied, in reality, they are just insecure human beings. It is their sense of powerlessness that forces them to act out. It is an attempt to get back at least some of the power and control over the life they feel like they lost.
Lack of social skills and underlying psychological issues
When bullies are unable to socialise properly and make friends with others, they might feel that they are a disappointment and feel a sense of worthlessness. These kids bullying others might be an attempt to have contact with them to seem cool in front of others.
There might be some cases where children start bullying others due to some underlying psychological issue. They may not be able to understand how others feel or they simply lack the ability to feel empathetic towards others. So, parents must observe their children’s behaviour and keep an eye out to look for any signs indicating they need medical diagnosis and help.
How can you correct your children?
The solution to most problems is understanding!
Try to understand what they are going through. It might be simple things that are affecting them. You might be able to solve it in no time and will get your children back to normal. You should keep an eye on who your children hang out with. If they are around the wrong company, advise your children to keep their distance or avoid such friendships and get them to see how they can have a bad influence on them. You need to identify and treat the underlying cause. Punishing your children or simply taking away their privileges won’t do you any good.
Teach them the right lessons and spend quality time together
From a young age, teach your children to be kind, considerate, and respectful to others. And the best way to do that is by example. Show them how you treat the people around you with love and respect. You love your children, but make sure your feelings are visibly expressed and felt by your children. Prioritise spending quality time with your family often. Have at least one meal together with the whole family. Go out on picnics, vacations, and the occasional strolls through the neighbourhood.
Seek professional help when needed. Do not hesitate.
Teach your children how to control their impulses and anger. You can teach counting exercises, breathing techniques, or self-talk. Meditation and mindfulness exercises can also have a positive impact on your children. There might be some cases where you need to consider getting help from a professional. Not doing so will be detrimental to your children’s future. Even if it is not an extreme case, you can get your children to attend a counselling session. It might be helpful for them to talk to a professional, and they might end up opening up about issues you might not be aware of.
See if there are any issues at school that are causing your children to act out in such a way. You can try special care, counselling sessions, or anti-bullying classes at school.
Also, help your children get better at their communication and social skills. Create opportunities to test out what they have learned and put them into practice.
It might be hard to admit when your children show such unacceptable behaviour and turning a blind eye might seem like the easiest solution. But that can have serious consequences in your child’s as well as your life later on. Raise your child to be someone who is kind and brave enough to stand up against bullying of others. We wish you all the best! 🙂
Exam Smart Tips
Exam Smart Tip #1 – How to Encourage Our Kids to Speak Better?
Exam Smart Tip #2 – How to avoid carelessness?
Exam Smart Tip #3 – Establishing Routines!
Exam Smart Tip #4 – Let’s Read Carefully!
Exam Smart Tip #5 – Beating the Exam Fever!
Exam Smart Tip #6 – How to Eat Right for the Exams?
Exam Smart Tip #7 – How to Avoid a Meltdown?
Exam Smart Tip #8 – Taking Stress out of Tests
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