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Help – how can parents stay calm?

Posted on February 4, 2022February 4, 2022 by 88tuition.com

“It takes a village to raise a child” – this is a common saying that demonstrates the intensity and support needed to bring children up. Being a parent in today’s society is no easy feat, and in recent news, we have all been shocked by the news of a father killing his two sons and leaving their bodies in a canal in Upper Bukit Timah. The culprit was apprehended and charged with murder. Very unfortunately, it has been revealed that the two children were said to have special needs.

Like the saying goes, it really does take a village to raise a child. Often, the parents and caretakers can feel burnt out or tired, looking after children. It is especially true in the case of those with children with special needs or disabilities. In this situation, we want to remind everyone about the importance of the mental health of parents and children.

Parenting is no easy task. The last two years have made it more challenging for many parents. The pandemic has added to the stress every parent feels. Taking some time to keep your mental health in check and make sure your children are perfectly alright is important.

Children nowadays are facing an increased threat of stress and depression. Most of this goes unnoticed. The issue is discussed only when some unfortunate event brings it back to everyone’s minds. And even when that happens, the mental health of parents is not discussed.

Almost all attention is given to children. The mental well-being of parents is as important as that of the children. The mental status of the parents has a direct impact on the life of their children. A child’s mental development hugely depends upon their environment and their parents.

Parents can feel overwhelmed and stressed out due to many reasons:

  • Fear of not being a good parent
  • The guilt of not being able to provide the best things for their children
  • Parents of children with special needs can at times feel helpless
  • Feeling neglected by children and family
  • Financial or other family burdens

Many people keep it all in and suffer without asking for help. They often feel alone, constantly exhausted, and frightened about what is coming next. Many describe it as a feeling of being swallowed or as feeling like falling into a bottomless pit. Sometimes those who keep it all in reach a point where they can’t any longer bear it, and they explode and take it out on themselves or others around them. In the case of parents, most often the ones who face the brunt of this are the children. Children who grow up in such an environment often have mental issues or exhibit learning disorders. Violent crimes like the murder of the two boys also are products of such issues being left unchecked.

What can you do?

Ask for help

It is the most important thing we want to remind everyone. If you feel like your life is not under control or if you are going through a scenario or situation that you can’t control, reach out to someone. It can be family or friends. If you don’t have any people in your life to rely on, there are organisations like Samaritans of Singapore, SG Enable, and many others you can reach out for help.

Talk to your children and family

Proper communication can often solve many problems you are having. If you are unsatisfied or frustrated with your children or family members, try to communicate with them and let them know. It might be hard if your children have developmental disorders or other disabilities that hinder normal functioning. But if you try, you can still find some way of communication and get them to understand you at least a bit. It can also help your children get rid of their stress and issues.

Have some time for yourself

Put aside some time to do things you like. Parents often become engrossed by things associated with their children. Many often lose their individuality and forget their likes and dislikes only to feel abandoned when their children grow up and start spending more time with others than at home. Try to find time to enjoy things that are only for you. Set aside some time to indulge in your hobbies and activities you like. Encourage your children to do so too.

Have a support network

It is great to have a group of similar people who are in the same situation you are in. You can form groups with the parents near you or with your friends. Or you can find online groups or forums where you can discuss various issues you are facing and also support each other.

Take care of your health

Being healthy is vital for your mental wellbeing. So, make sure not to skip your meals. Have a proper sleep cycle. Exercise and meditate daily. All these can help rid your mind of stress and keep your mind clear and focused. Involve your whole family in it.

If the parent’s mental health is fine, naturally the children will also feel stability and will be able to rely on their parents. It can positively affect their mental health. So, making sure you are alright before worrying about your children is the advice we have for you. You can’t take care of someone if you aren’t well. Try to keep that in mind.

We hope you find these tips helpful. Reach out to experts in case you feel like you require assistance. We are all in this together, all the best! 🙂

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