8 February 2020 – What’s the significance of the date, you may ask. The date is definitely not as significant as the more familiar Valentine’s Day (14 February), but the 15th day of the Lunar New Year certainly has its importance, despite not being widely recognized by the increasingly cosmopolitan youth of today in Singapore.
The 15 days of the Lunar New Year are drawing to a close, and as it nears the end of the celebrations and festivities, let us remember the significance of the last day of this much-hyped about, and much looked-forward to festivity in Singapore. Marking the end of the Lunar New Year celebrations, the 15th day of the Lunar New Year is often known for the Lantern Festival. This is another day for family reunions and can be the most exciting one with beautiful lanterns adding sheen to the events. It’s truly wonderful that the 15-day festive period comes with a wide array of visiting traditions. Let us take a dive into these and refresh those traditions, shall we?
Visiting Days
The first day of the festivities is reserved for visiting the senior members of the family. These visits are commonly known as the activity “Bai Nian” (however today the phrase encompasses visits to people of all age groups). According to tradition, the guests are greeted with sweets served on round or octagonal trays. These shapes resemble a sense of unity and are referred to as “Trays of Togetherness”.
On the second day, married women pay visits to their parents. In addition to praying to all the gods, on this day people pray to their ancestors as well. House visits are not conducted on the third day. This day is for marking respect to immediate relatives who have passed away. People visit the graves of their family members with a garland of flowers.
The eighth, tenth, eleventh and twelfth days are also spent feasting with family members. Then comes the the fifteenth day, marking the end of the Lunar New Year celebrations. As we had mentioned previously, the Lantern Festival takes place on this day. This is another day for family reunions and is often seen as the most exciting day out of the fifteen celebratory days of the Lunar New Year with the presence of the exquisite lanterns.
What this tells us?
These traditions give us an insight into the wisdom of our ancestors. They teach us the significance of family. Our families are our first line of support and one of the greatest blessings that we can have. They teach us to love. In the age that we live in, we hardly find time to spare even for our spouses and children, let alone extended family members. The Lunar New Year gives us an opportunity to get together with our families (both immediate and distant) and spend some quality time with them.
Changing roles
Now that we’ve spoken about tradition and how beautifully it enriches families, shall we talk about an equally important (though very often neglected) role in our lives? Over the past few decades, there has been a gradual change in traditional family roles. Who primarily took care of the kids (quitting their jobs if needed) in the past? Mothers were entrusted with such responsibilities. But today, it seems that this once common scenario is changing. According to the Manpower Ministry’s (MOM) Labour Force in Singapore report – the latest comparative data available – there were about 1,500 stay-at-home fathers in 2017, up from around 700 a decade earlier. What are the reasons for this?
There are a couple of complementary factors. The primary one is that parents wish to have their kids grow up receiving their direct care and attention. This is certainly good for the child and the family. It helps create deep bonds. In such cases when the mother earns more than the father, the men of the household are increasingly opting to quit their jobs and turn to the care of their children.
A recent example that we may be familiar with is the man behind our household local sitcom, “Phua Chu Kang”. When television funny man, Mr Gurmit Singh, announced in the year 2014 that he would be leaving MediaCorp in order to spend more time with his family, the news made big headlines. No one seemed to understand why he would want to take such a drastic step to have more family time. Leaving his well-paying job meant the family of five had to give up some luxuries and make some sacrifices.
But, according to Mr Singh, the financial compromises were more than worth it. It has been six years since he gave up his full-time entertainment job for contract work, and he does not regret his decision to make more time for his wife Melissa, and three kids Gabrielle, Elliot, and Mikaela.
Commend not Condemn
“Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, story-tellers and singers of song.” Instead of being appreciative of these fathers who make sacrifices and become homemakers, our society often turns to condemn them. It is time that we change certain misconceptions about parenthood.
Parenting is a team effort and stay-at-home fathers are only doing their best to love their children and fulfil their responsibility. At the same time, we should also concentrate on letting both parents spend more time with their children especially during the early years, when establishing relationship bonds are crucial. Increasing the availability of paternity leave would be a considerable suggestion.
As the Lunar New Year festivities come to an end, let us cherish our families, strengthen bonds and not be afraid to redefine family roles that can help us grow more in love.
88tuition would like to take this opportunity to wish all those who celebrate “Chap Goh Meh” a joyful, wholesome and fulfilling time! 🙂
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