Bullying has become a topic of concern over the last few years. The topic has gained so much traction that many researchers and specialists have started to study bullying, its adverse impacts and the steps needed to overcome the aftermath. Bullying during primary and secondary school is often labelled as “fun”, as children do it in a rather innocent manner. But if this habit continues during and after their teenage years, then it is definitely a topic of concern.
There is nothing worse than finding out that your child has been targeted by a bully. As a parent, you may experience a whole range of emotions – anger, fear, pain and even confusion at times. But what your child feels and the manner in which they react is very important.
When you were a child, you would have received “the talk” before heading to the playground or school – “Avoid talking to strangers, stay close to us, pay attention to teachers, and stay away from bullies.” Back then, in the 1980s and 1990s, parenting was very different. Is it still relevant today?
Should children learn to fight and defend themselves when they are bullied? Definitely, yes!
The drawbacks of gentle parenting
You do your best to be a kind parent, and most parents try to follow the same style of parenting. The major drawback of this kind of approach is that it works best when all children are trained to be polite and emotionally mature enough. Sadly, the reality is something different.
Imagine you and your child are at a kid’s party. Gentle parenting becomes obsolete when your six-year-old must deal with a ten-year-old bully who is twice as strong and things start to escalate quickly from there on.
So, should your children learn to fight?
According to Evolve MMA, in Singapore, one in eight kids experience bullying, and four out of every thirty-five kids experience it frequently. As a result, one in ten students tends to leave their school. (For further details, visit the Coalition Against Bullying for Children and Youth website). If you do a quick search on any site that promotes children’s self-defence classes, self-discipline and independence are listed high among the reasons for a child to train.
So, is enrolling your kids in a fighting class absolutely necessary? Well, that entirely depends on your perspective.
As a parent, you may not want to see your kids get into fights, but you must admit that you cannot always live in a world where kids only argue sensibly and do not get physical at all. There will be a temper tantrum, which may or may not get physical. So ask yourself, “Do I want to raise a child who believes that running away to find an adult is the only option left?” or “Would I like my kids to defend themselves?”
Here are some tips on how parents can teach children to fight against their bullies:
- Let your kids know that you always have their back and ask them to stand up against any form of bullying.
- If your child is getting teased, teach them how to respond back in the right manner. Tell them not to get upset or sad or angry but to act in such a way that the bully feels that his/her actions were totally unnecessary and they should not repeat such acts ever again.
- Make sure you educate your children to not initiate any fights and abuse their knowledge of knowing how to fight. Make them understand that they are learning to fight only to safeguard themselves during very adverse situations.
- If a situation ever gets out of their control, encourage your kids to immediately reach out to you or any adult nearby for help.
It is important for anyone being bullied to understand that they are not at fault. Bullies target people because of issues from their end. However, victims and witnesses need to find ways to combat bullying by speaking out, standing up and even reporting perpetrators to the concerned authorities. Individuals engaging in this behaviour should be held accountable for their actions and be taught a proper lesson.
We hope you find this article useful in helping your child deal with a bully confidently and prevent a difficult situation from escalating. All the best! 🙂
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