The unfortunate arrival of Covid-19 has changed the dynamics of not just the workplace, but also, at home. With ‘Work From Home’ being the default mode for most of last year and this year, office hours have been blurred, causing much of ‘family time’ to be taken over with ad hoc meetings, Zoom calls, and urgent deadlines.
This has led to many parents asking themselves whether they have been good parents, whether they have done everything they could’ve done for their children. Some amount of this doubt is good. It helps parents re-evaluate their parenting style and helps them be better support guides for their children. But, if it becomes too much, it can get out of hand. The pervasive feeling of having failed your child or messed up their future can be crippling and affect your entire life if you let it. Here, we have some tips for you to make sense of this issue that might be plaguing you.
Look at things from a different perspective
You might just be overthinking things. It’s natural for humans to overthink and blow things out of proportion. We are often our harshest critics. The most vital thing you have to do to deal with this is to look at it objectively from another perspective. So, instead of thinking and worrying about it all by yourselves, ask someone who would give you an honest reply whether you have been doing well as a parent.
Think about the reasons why you feel guilty
You might be spending a good part of your day at work, or you have too much work at home. Your children are acting out, misbehaving, or even not performing well in school, and you think it is because you are not paying them enough attention. There can be a multitude of reasons. Try to figure out and address the issues. Children are unpredictable. We can’t always control how they behave no matter how much attention we pay to them. So, please do not blame yourself for every action of your child. Instead of feeling that you have let them down, try to find out the reason for their behaviour, and come up with a suitable solution.
Have reasonable expectations of yourself and your children
The reason most parents feel like they have failed their children is that they keep unrealistically high expectations. Try to understand your children better; what their strengths and weaknesses are, and try to come to terms with them. Not every child will be able to score a 100% on every test they take. Everyone has different abilities and talents. So, make sure you keep your expectations in line.
Don’t compare yourself to others
We usually advise parents not to compare their children with other children. But, there’s an even more important pointer to keep in your mind – Do not compare yourself to other parents. With the popularity and pervasiveness of social media, many people post about how perfect their lives are and raising their children in the absolutely “perfect” way. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to imitate these and coming up short. Try to find out what works for you and your children and work on it.
Do not get over-involved in your child’s life
When parents feel like they have been neglecting their children, they often try to compensate by getting involved in every aspect of their children. It can turn into micromanaging. It can make your children feel suffocated and take away the time you could spend on something productive. Children should be allowed to make their own decisions, make mistakes and learn from them on their own.
Work on your mental well-being
Most parents fall into the trap of not valuing themselves. If you are such a person, you have to realise that children grow up imitating their parents. If you show them that you don’t value yourself, they will grow up like you. Teach them by example. Take care of yourself. Unless you take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.
Make amends when needed
If you have been neglecting your children or have done something wrong, make amends. We must admit to our mistakes and take action. Ask for forgiveness if you think you did anything wrong. We are sure your children will understand you and come to accept you for who you are.
Seek support when needed
There are several support groups that offer help and advice for parents in dealing with issues such as these. Seek them out. Another thing we have to address is that parents of children with special needs often feel like they aren’t doing everything they can and that seeking help is like admitting you are a failure as parents. If your children have special needs that you can’t cater to, the right thing to do is to seek help. There is nothing to feel ashamed about. If you or your children need help from a professional, go for it. Never hold yourself back due to misconceptions or opinions of others.
There is no single ideal model for parenting. The most important thing is that your children know that you love them and will support them through everything in life. So, the next time you feel you aren’t doing enough, take a deep breath and tell yourself you are doing ok. We can do this – one step at a time, one day at a time! 🙂
Exam Smart Tips
Exam Smart Tip #1 – How to Encourage Our Kids to Speak Better?
Exam Smart Tip #2 – How to avoid carelessness?
Exam Smart Tip #3 – Establishing Routines!
Exam Smart Tip #4 – Let’s Read Carefully!
Exam Smart Tip #5 – Beating the Exam Fever!
Exam Smart Tip #6 – How to Eat Right for the Exams?
Exam Smart Tip #7 – How to Avoid a Meltdown?
Exam Smart Tip #8 – Taking Stress out of Tests
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