‘Failures are the stepping stones to success.’ Now, all of us are familiar with this saying. But how does failure actually work? What happens when you fail at something? Well, more often than not, you feel bad, you brood over it, you might even get depressed and you can also feel like you are incapable of achieving success. Yes, quite often we appear to be unaware of the right way to handle our failures.
Let’s try answering another question. How would our kids react to failure? Can we help to provide them with the support that they may need?
The need to teach failure management
Remember the saying that the minds of children are like sheets of white paper? So the stuff that gets fed into a child’s mind stays there long and is often hard to replace. What are we suggesting? We are telling you that the way our children deal with failures during their childhood or teenage years will be the exact same way in which they deal with failure for the rest of their lives. This gives us enough reason to ensure that our kids learn how to deal with failures in a positive manner.
Take the hit but never fall down
So many parents, due to concern for their children, often end up shielding them from harsh realities. When it comes to failures, we must let our kids deal with them. They can gain a lot from the experiences but we need to make sure that those failures don’t pin them to the ground.
The first step is to tell them that it is ok to feel bad. Sit down, spend some time with your kid when he faces a failure in something. Tell him that it’s ok to fail and that he should not get too obsessed with it. Failure happens and it’s a natural part of life.
How can you get the point across more emphatically? Well, your child might be a fan of someone; perhaps a more popular individual that they look up to? Maybe a sports star or a movie star. Take a few bits out of his hero’s life to show that the journey to reach their current success involved certain hurdles, but the important lesson is that they had moved on from these struggles.
Let’s say your son or daughter is a fan of the football star – Lionel Messi. Speak to him about how Messi moved on after failing to win the world cup, but he still gives his all to football and keeps working to win the cup in the next chance.
What does it mean to fail?
A wise man once said that FAIL meant the ‘First Attempt In Learning’. We need to teach children to analyse their failures. They need to do this if they are to improve on what they are doing wrong and advance further.
The habit of breaking down failures on your own can gradually lead to one overcoming the fear of failure. Now, initially, parents might have to help their kids with this task. You need to identify what went wrong. At the same time, you need to reassure your kid about all the lessons that they can learn from the experience. In the long run, this will help your kids become more rational and open to learning.
While you preach, you need to do as well
Now, as we give out passionate lectures to our kids about becoming resilient to failures, we must not forget one important thing. We, as parents, are under constant surveillance – by our kids. So, the way we respond to failure should be in a resilient manner as well. If we do not practice what we preach, then we will have a real hard time convincing our kids to take failures positively. So,do spread some positivity inside your household, it will do your kids a ton of help!
What about a book or a movie?
Since it is the holiday period, use the opportunity to bond by watching movies, or reading books together. Try getting your kids to watch ‘The Pursuit of Happiness’ or read ‘The Alchemist’. Expose them to positive movies and literature on a frequent basis.
Sing the fear away!
Here’s a great suggestion to help allay your kid’s fears. Sing! Now, this is especially useful for kids who are just about to make the transition to Primary 1. Pick up a few cheerful numbers and sing along with your kids. Reading out to them some inspirational stories would also be a wonderful suggestion.
Skills needed in primary school
Parents of pre-schoolers often tend to be unduly obsessed with academics. Is this the right approach? What we need to focus on at the preschool level or for kids who are about to enter Primary 1 is ‘social skills’. Of added importance among these is the quality to face challenges and failures. The MOE’s Nurturing Early Learner’s Framework identifies social and emotional development as key learning areas. Parents need to focus on getting these traits across through creative interventions.
The basic lessons in Failure Management and Resilience must be taught within the family. As parents, we can do the most in ensuring that our kids are able to smile even after failures, look back, analyse, and move ahead with some extra wisdom and an indomitable resilience. Let’s work together to raise positive and hardy kids! 🙂
Exam Smart Tips
Exam Smart Tip #1 – How to Encourage Our Kids to Speak Better?
Exam Smart Tip #2 – How to avoid carelessness?
Exam Smart Tip #3 – Establishing Routines!
Exam Smart Tip #4 – Let’s Read Carefully!
Exam Smart Tip #5 – Beating the Exam Fever!
Exam Smart Tip #6 – How to Eat Right for the Exams?
Exam Smart Tip #7 – How to Avoid a Meltdown?
Exam Smart Tip #8 – Taking Stress out of Tests
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